How to Write a Business Email To Make a Deal [Examples Inside]

Despite the fast evolution of mobile messengers, email is still a dominant part of our daily digital life.
In 2018, people sent and received nearly 281 billion emails every day, and this number is expected to grow up to 347 billion emails in 2022, according to Statista.

McKinsey Global Institute has discovered that we spend, on average, 13 hours a week managing emails. We may admit this is not the most pleasant statistic. When communicating via email for business, you need to remember that people are very busy. Don't expect your email to be answered if it is not concise, specific, or it doesn't correspond to email etiquette and essential writing patterns.

You may wonder why recipients don't answer your business introduction email. Most likely, they concluded that they are not interested in your proposal for some reason.

In this article, I will share my insights on how to write a business email to make a deal. "Nice to e-meet you" and welcome to a place where you will find the proven techniques of creating an effective letter, namely:

  • Writing Insights. How to Balance Between Formality And a Catchy Style When Writing a Business Introduction Email
  • Email Structure Every Professional Should Follow
  • Business Email Format: Rules And Recommendations
  • How to Start a Business Email
  • How To End a Business Email
  • Business Email Example That You Can Learn From

Let's get started.
Writing Insights. How to Balance Between Formality And a Catchy Style When Writing a Business Introduction Email
Knowing the golden mean in formal writing patterns and the appropriate mood of an email is an artform called eclecticism which is the effective blending of different styles and approaches.

The science of eclecticism in emailing declares the next etiquette rules:

Appreciate email recipient's time
The business world is busy. There is no time even for an extra cup of coffee, not to mention a long and vague email. Be specific and concise writing a business introduction email, take a reader right to the point. Get rid of blurry thoughts and requests in your letter.

People don't care about who you are, and it's normal
Ask your ego to step aside when you are introducing yourself in a business email. People don't care about who you are, which university you graduated from, what achievements you have reached (unless it's related to the topic of a request). They care only about how they can benefit (most often) and how they can be helpful to you (in terms of politeness). And this is totally normal.

Be short when introducing yourself, don't give information that has nothing to do with your request. Try to use only the facts: your name, job title, and some points about the results of your work if they are relevant and can help convince a recipient to continue reading your email.

The classics are a must in business e-communication
Do you want to make your email non-trivial? Do you want to be like no one else? Okay, but you should slow your roll here. Keep in mind that the business world has some traditions and patterns you are required to follow. Pay specific attention to creating a unique business writing strategy.

By following email etiquette and a defined structure, you simply show that you respect the interlocutor by default. And as it's known, respect is the basis of successful collaboration. So, yes, the classics are important in writing a business email.

Humor may be very helpful
Humor is a powerful communication tool, just don't overdo it! Let it be just a slightly visible motive in your email. It is like chocolate: the majority like it, but there is always somebody who hates it or has an allergy. So, make sure your humor will be understood by an email recipient. Otherwise, it's better not to take a risk.
follow-up email example
Email Structure Every Professional Should Follow
The way you structure your email matters. It not only makes it easier to read and understand but also reveals you as a professional in the interlocutor's eyes. There are some essential parts of the business introduction email you should stick to:

Pay attention to the subject line
According to Convince & Convert, 33% of people decide whether to open an email or not based on a subject line. An effective subject line performs the below-mentioned functions:

  • It tells people what to expect in the email.
A good subject line lets a recipient see what lies within a letter at a glance. Imagine, you have received an email with the subject line like "Met You At Event. Let's Connect," "A New HR Strategy for Your Business," or "Request for a Quick Call with our Sales Manager." There is no place for ambiguity in these subject lines so you can easily understand what the sender has in mind.

Mentioning the subject line "Request for a Quick Call with our Sales Manager," we can refer to the following business email example, offered by SuperOffice:
business email example
  • It may evoke interest in the email's content.
A subject line can help you attract the recipient's attention in the inbox overwhelmed with emails and motivate him/her to open your's. In a subject line, you can mention a solution that may be useful for a receiver like in this example: "ECommerce owner? We know how to grow your eCommerce business."

You can also make a subject sound humorous, but once again, don't overdo it! Good examples are here:
"Please Touch Me! Get Enterprise Delight via Multitouch" (Multitouch)
"Deals That Make Us Proud (Unlike Our Nephew, Steve)" (Groupon)

  • It helps get your email prioritized in the inbox.
A subject line can motivate a recipient to prioritize the email because of its urgency. You can see it in the following subject line examples: "Requesting A Business Meeting On Wednesday," "Last Call To Join Our Conference: Free Coffee, Bad Apples & the Future of Currency."

* Subject line tips for a business email

  1. Keep it short and sweet.
Laconic subject lines are more likely to trigger an email opening. Keep in mind that people often check their inbox via their mobile phones, so make sure you optimized a subject line (as well as the email itself) to mobile. Subject lines over 25-30 characters are truncated if you scan an email on mobile.

2. Keep it catchy, but don't promise anything you can't offer.
If people see the title "Apples," they expect to see at least one apple inside. So, don't cheat by saying something in the subject line that does not actually correspond to the email content. Otherwise, you risk losing the recipient's trust.

3. Avoid filler words.
Your space is limited. Use it wisely!
filler words
4. Don't overdo punctuation and caps.
Capital letters are often associated with a feeling that somebody is shouting at you. Nobody likes to be shouted at. Excessive punctuation, as well as all caps, may look amateurish and trigger spam filters, so be cautious using them.

5. Use the below-mentioned principles to motivate people to open an email.
People open emails with subject lines that include curiosity, urgency, offers, personalization, relevance and timeliness, cool stories, and name recognition. Using phrases that express these concepts, you can significantly increase your email opening rates.

Start an email like a pro
Are you sure that you know how to start a business email competently? The secret lies in a nice salutation. You can use informal greetings like "Hi" or "Hello" with a recipient's first name if you know this person well and communicate regularly.

If you need to make your business introduction email sound formal, use the first name followed by a surname. In case you don't know a name at all, you can refer a person using "Sir/Madam" or the name of the department (like "Editorial Department").

Write the email body like a marketer. Find the right approach
Smart and unobtrusive marketing should flow in your blood when you are writing a body for your business email. Try to evoke the recipient's interest when explaining the purpose of your email in the most concise way possible.

Be empathetic and put yourself in the recipient's shoes. Imagine you are a very busy person who has received someone's email. What do you expect to see inside?

First of all, you expect an email to be as short and clear as possible. Likely, you don't have much time to read it. You want to understand who is writing to you so it is logical to start an email with a short introduction. State your name, job position, the company you're working for, the place where you've met, or anything else that would be helpful to let the recipient know who you are and why he/she should continue reading the email. Don't talk too much about yourself (2-3 sentences will do).

Further, you wonder why this person is writing to you. When writing the email body, try to move right to the point by announcing the purpose of your letter. We subconsciously understand that the sender values our time if an email is short and very specific. It is very important in business.

In this business email example from NinjaOutreach, you can see how a good body should look:
email body example
How to close a business email? Do it with style
The final sentences above your signature are important. This is the right place to set a kind of emotional connection with a recipient implying further collaboration.

The email closing should be genuine and realistic. You can wish a person something pleasant on your part. And you also can use a call to action letting the reader understand how he/she should respond to your email. Don't assume that people understand by default what the next step is.

Don't forget about a digital signature below the closing remark. Better to follow a specific template including the common closing phrase (like "Best Regards," "Kindest Regards," "Best Wishes") and contact information (full name, title and company, website, phone number, and email address).

Here is a good digital signature example:
digital signature example
Business Email Format: Rules And Recommendations
The details of the email such as font, text size, alignment, etc. really matter. I hope that these business email format tips will be helpful to you:

  • Try to break your text into shorter paragraphs, lists, and bullet points to streamline information. Apply headings 1, 2, and 3 to distinguish the concepts and make it easier to perceive an email. To emphasize important text, you can also use text in bold. It catches the reader's eye and makes it easier to scan the email. Italics is a bit softer way to bring emphasis to a certain area of text.

  • When it comes to font, San Serif is the best option since it is easy to read on-screen. Gmail uses Sans Serif as the default. It is an element of the email classics, as well as the left text alignment.

  • Make the text size no less than 12 to ensure that it's well readable even on small screens.

  • Don't insert any pictures as it immediately creates the feeling of getting a promotional email. The exception can be a conceptual letter where the image is an integral part of the message.

  • Better to avoid multiple colors in the email text and underlined phrases as they may be easily confused for links.

Here's an excellent business email example with a proper format created by Vijay Khandekar, a growth marketer at SERPed.net, that you can learn from:
business email example
Just Apply It!
The business world is busy and overwhelmed with emails. It means that your letter is under tough competition with others who likely are sending similar requests in their emails. So, to stand out and struggle for the recipient's attention, you should know how to write a business email that will reveal you as a polished professional and can help you make a deal.

In this article, I overviewed the proven practices on how to start a business email, how to write an effective and unobtrusive email body, how to close a business email, and important formatting rules that might be helpful to you on the way to establishing clear and effective business communication.

And what are your most efficient business introduction email writing techniques? Share your experience with our community.

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